day three
is superfreak hard! yesterday went by without much difficulty and was pretty low key but today was the opposite of saturday day. i’ve been feeling strong pangs of hunger allll day, even when i drink the juice. i am over the juice. of course, what added to the challenge of day three was that i went over to my good friend’s house to share in her hannukah/winter solstice celebration. as always she was preparing a feast for her friends and i insisted that they should not call attention to my fast and should talk about and enjoy the food freely, because they kept apologizing every time they orgasmically said something was delicious!
i was prepared (so i though) and took in all of the smells (two people now think i’m very weird) and sights – it was a beautiful to see the table laid and enriched with colors and i could smell so much texture in the food and chocolate but at the same time, i was feeling the fast today so it made it a little difficult to abstain from eating. also, i made goat cheese latkes which are deep friend heaven with grated potatoes and onions. anyway, now that i have made up my mind to break my fast on Tuesday, i feel a lot better. So it’ll be a 4 and half day fast because you are basically fasting on the day that you break it. I made the decision because i think this amount of time has been good for me. also, it’s very very difficult. i’ve reached a balanced cleansing spot. and did i mention that this was difficult? i’m flying home on thursday and don’t want to deal with fasting at home (previously this was an upside to choosing this time, but i’ll be cooking alot and i really want to eat!). i have become conscious of what i want and what i need in a way that will make me much more careful about the ingredients that i choose and the recipes I make…i will cook with such love and enjoy each flavor so much and start to pay attention again to the smells and tastes. god i miss food……okay, now i’m gushing and its time to sleep.
don’t it always seem to go …
